YIKES!!!!

WOW, where has the time gone?!?! It's already November and Thanksgiving is around the corner. yikes! SOOO much has gone on in the last month! first off, WMEA convention was a great experience! i always learn new things there (which is the point, right?!?!) AND i bought a new baton which i absolutely LOVE!! I'm a dork, i know! haha. Student teaching has been going well. I'm learning alot and I still love going everyday! can you believe that it is already halfway done?!?! I can't! I don't want to leave! LOL! It has truely been one of the best experiences thus far. It has definitely confirmed that this is what I should be doing. And I am glad that after all these years of school, that I still feel passionate about it. I can't believe that I graduate college in just over a month! where did the last four (and a half) years go?!?! and then its on to finding a job. I cannot tell you how anxious/nervous/scared I am because I have no knowledge of what I will be doing after graduation. YIKES! But whatever happens, I will remain optimistic and have a positive outlook, even if the job market is looking dismal right now....

I still have many things to look forward to including concerts galore and Midwest Clinic in Chicago. oh yeah and GRADUATION!!! I'll make sure to keep this updated on what's going on especially once the job hunt ensues!!

just in case, have a great thanksgiving full of lots of turkey and mashed potatoes!!!

~Katie

what a doozie...

So, alas. student teaching has started. I have just finished my fourth week with students. and enjoying every, well almost every, minute of it! Quite honestly, I love going to school and teaching the kids. I find myself a little sad when I have to come home. weird, I know. but then friday happened and well let's just say something brown and stinky hit the fan.

So my co-op teacher told me that he was going to videotape me and give me the whole rehearsal for both junior and senior high bands. i was cool with it. fine whatever. we have to reflect as teachers in order to learn. well needless to say, the junior high rehearsal was just not good. we were reading a new piece, and it was challenging. i had never looked at it, and i wish i had before this day. anywho, the students were defiant and rehearsal was a little hostile and just all around disastrous. so it was time to go, and i let the kids go. i was so frustrated. i felt like a failure. I didn't know whether i should be angry or just cry. so my teacher and i sat and talked about what happened. let me just say, a videotape doesn't lie. so as some of you know, i'm not very good at hiding my feelings. and here's what went down. they were frustrated, which was making me frustrated, and then i was taking my frustrations out on them. i didn't mean to in any way. My pace was unnecessarily fast, and felt extremely rushed. part of it was because of the filming. i hate watching videos, seeing pictures, etc etc of myself so it only added to my stress level. and also i have been fighting a nasty cold and felt sick and pukey all morning. But please understand that in no way am I defending my shortness with the group. so i had to watch the video, thankfully by myself, and thankfully in a room by myself with a comfy chair and a box of tissues.

so nevertheless, i was very disappointed. i was soooo negative nancy in that rehearsal that i would not have wanted to sit through that rehearsal as a student, so i cant blame them for acting up. plus, the whole rehearsal, i never said one thing positive. and when i was trying to give a compliment, it came across negatively. I also re-realized that my conducting is sub par. no, a conductor should not be a glorified metronome, but at the same time, nor should they go crazy a la leonard bernstein(even though he is quite entertaining). so what is the role of the conductor? my understanding, and what i have forgotten, is that the role of a conductor should be one in which they embody the music be played. you should be aiding the students or performers in understanding the story behind the music and the emotions surrounding it. so now being ever so humble, this is something that i lack severely. but why? i have witnessed conducting for the last 10 years of my life. why can i not emulate this? yes it has to do with lack of experience. nothing is more humbling and frustrating than when an experienced veteran can bring a whole new light to a piece just because they made one facial expression or changed the style of one cue. I think another reason is just stepping outside of my comfort zone. my comfort bubble has been good to me, and yes, i love new exciting things. for some reason, i revert and retreat back to this. This will be something that i will be working on feverishly to overcome this semester. so thankfully, my high school rehearsal went swimmingly. it was like watching another person teach. honest to goodness. and of course, nothing else makes a bad day turn around like teaching 5th graders and getting to play baritone and bass drum. i love playing baritone. I do not know why. it just rocks.

so the real question is, how do i fix this? do i go as far as trying to take private conducting lessons? i really don't know. all i know is that something needs to be done and soon too. i do not wish to feel as i did after that rehearsal, ever again. i almost feel like i need to apologize to those poor kids. they didn't deserve my crappiness that day.

oh and speaking of leonard bernstein..if you are in need of a good chuckle, please go on youtube and search him conducting overture to candide. you will definitely have a good laugh.

hope all is well!
~Katie

so long sweet summer.....

Wow has it been a while since I have updated this! what a whirlwind summer has been!!! i would give you a month-by-month recap..but its hard to remember waaaaay back to June. can you hear the gears turning yet????

so i guess here it goes.

back in June, i rediscovered my love for Josh Groban. I remembered why I would always stay up late to watch Conan O'Brien. I worked like a slave. I needed a vacation and didn't get one (LOL). I got frustrated with my "online banking" (which really isn't online). I thought about going to summerfest (alas, i didn't make it there). I went shopping with Mallory in Kenosha(think of it as my mini-vacay). I saw the Hangover and laughed profusely! went to a few brewers games and had fun! I had dinner and caught up with an old friend who I haven't seen in a few years! I went mini golfing with Amy where we learned that we should not be professional mini golfers HAHA!! I made it through my first major Severe storm in the new apartment. I bailed out sewer water from my sisters basement. I took my family to their first brewers game at miller park (which they won!).

in July, i worked some more. i contemplated buying an autoharp (but didn't). i worked some more. I became an underground professional chauffeur. I fell in love with the Fray all over again. I had a Harry Potter marathon. I survived Flute camp! haha! I went to my first concert on the square in Madison. I decided that I needed to loosen up and live life a little. I got to know some of my friends even better. I had a blast at middle school band camp and had some of the most fun kids ever! I survived and enjoyed(for the most part) a brewers game and tailgating with the band camp crew! I learned a lot working high school week and got to know even more of my friends better by having some great late night chats and frosty freeze runs!!! I survived eating at esker for three weeks(i should get an award or something HAHA!!!) I had fun times with Kristen and Nate including brats, Olive garden, exclusive company, target shenans, and cake and shakes at coldstone.

in august, i began to work even more again. i got a raise that i didn't even know about. I am helping out in Sun Prairie working with the PMMS band. they had Sam Hazo compose a piece based off of a Georgia O'Keefe painting. Pretty SWEET!!! I was/am obsessed with student teaching(more about that later). I became determined to find teacher clothes and I have been pretty successful!!! I remembered not to sweat the small things in life, and to remember to find the beauty in the world. I did some growing up. I went to a brewers game (the first one that i have been to that they have lost). I attended one of my friend's wedding (congrats Nicole!!). I went to see Phantom of the Opera( absolutely AMAZING!!! i died and went to heaven that afternoon!) I got to hang out with my amazing friends. shopping and noodles with Mallory. Movies with Emily. Helping Kristen and Nate decorate her classroom in Baraboo (possible highlight. I love arts and crafts!!!) Visiting Natalie in McFarland and going shopping! oh how i missed that girl!!! And i had a lovely dinner with Dan and caught up with each other after all this time...

so now that you're caught up here's some more:

Student teaching is right around the corner. I'm excited/nervous/scared/anxious all rolled into one. It looks like its gonna be a great experience, it's just gonna be different than what I'm used to. Besides that, I have a lot of things to look forward to, including: WMEA state convention, Midwest, graduation, solo/ensemble judge certification, and then looking for a job. a REAL job. how exciting!!!

so I think for now, this is where I will leave you. there will for sure be many more stories to tell thanks to student teaching, and stay tuned because I will try and keep this updated!!!

Happy rest of summer and start of school!!!!
~Katie

PHEEEEEEEW!!!!!!

HOLY COW!!!!! my recital is over with. its a little bittersweet(never thought i would actually say that). On one note, i am elated that it is over with and that it went well, on the other hand, i am sad that it is over and kinda want to do it again!!! it was fun to play for people. I woke up saturday morning after having a terrible dream(more like nightmare) where i slept through my recital. so i abruptly turned over and checked the time to see that it was only 9am.(PHEW!!!) so i got ready, my sister did my hair, and we were off and ready to go. i ate my banana(as per to calm my stomach down) and i think i handled the day well. it helped to have so many of my friends there. (nothing like calming your nerves by joking about a tuba bra!!!). everything went smoothly. i had serious dry mouth going on in the first piece, and i kicked myself for not taking my water on stage with me. but i still made it through. I was soo happy to see that people came to hear me play.(only because i have never been the most confident hornist in the world). It means so much to me that they came out to support me!!! THe quintet was awesome. i think i even made my DAD tear up. mission accomplished!!! My only regret is that Mr. K couldnt be here to see how far i have come (even though i have a funny hunch that he was listening.) so in honor of the canadian brass.. enjoy the lovely picture...

~Katie

this one goes out to my green lake peeps...

SO....long time..here goes an update...

I think I have finally realized beyond a doubt that this is what I want to do. I was at a conference in Green Lake last weekend called Next Direction for Band. I was a counselor along with 4 of my friends for the camp where high school kids who are interesting in possibly pursuing music as a career would come and learn more about hte profession. Not only did i get to work with some really cool kids, i got to work with Quincy Hilliard, one of the best educators and composers in the band world. I learned alot as a music ed student, but I also learned alot as a person. I learned that I have some of the greatest friends in the world. I also learned that I am just as valuable as any other person, that i should take pride in my playing, and play with confidence. idk why it took so long to click. it has taken over 4 years for me to realize that im just as good even if i am not sitting first. i would not trade what happened this past weekend for anything, my experience was great based on the great people i was with and i am thankful for it.

my recital is in two weeks. woo dang...i cannot wait for it to be over... i have been having the best lessons now that i have ever had in my life. i hate to think what i could have done had i worked this hard all four years of school, so i will not dwell on it. needless to say, i am looking forward to this semester being done and starting to student teach. I am ready to move on with my life.

in that respect, i hope that things start looking up for everyone. it has been a rough week, and i sure hope that everyone is doing fine.

so i was having trouble thinking of something to give up for lent. the only thing i came up with is to stop having a negative view of my life. try to see things more "glass half full." my life is pretty good, and it could be way worse. so if you hear me down in the dumps, yell at me and tell me to smile.