Sunday, March 2, 2008

Just another day....

Hey everyone! so while sitting around today and procrastinating, I decided that I wanted to start blogging more, and not on myspace. And so it begins....

This weekend has been a very insightful weekend for me. I have had a lot of time to think about my life and a few things have happened that have caused me to think.

I'm still unsure about what I am doing with my life. I know i want to do msuic, but i just seem to lack the passion for anything right now. It's like school has sucked the fun out of the one thing that i love in life. I have no drive anymore, no drive to practice, no drive to excell in my craft. I can't wait to teach, but as a performer, I just don't know what to do to better myself anymore. I feel like it's hopeless and I guess I am just ready to be done with school. I am to the point where I feel like I know nothing, but while talking with one of my friends the other night, he made me realize how much I do know. I never stepped back to look at how much I do know about music. I was surprised, very surprised.

But on the other hand, I have great friends. I have been able to get to know people more and more on an intimate level, not just as a "friend of a friend". i still have my old friends of course, and i'm even learning more and more about them everyday too. My friends are my rock. They keep me grounded, they keep me in check. Even though spats occur sometimes, we all look after eachother. and whether they like it or not, they are stuck with me inevitably.

As my 21st birthday looms closer and closer, I am beginning to think that being single is the only route for me. I am beginning to lose hope in finding love, and quite honestly, its starting to take a toll on me. I know I have to be patient, I am told that many of times. However, I am done with being patient. I've been waiting 21 years almost, i think thats about long enough...

March is going to be a busy month for me: papers, tests, recitals, concerts, orchestra tour, spring break, and of course....MY BIRTHDAY!!!! Keeping busy will be good for me, i hope... So as for now, I think i am done, but do know... I will keep updating this.

♥ Katie